REFLECTIONS

"That's life all around, isn't it?  A series of random, though sometimes VERY predictable, events, situations and people you cannot control, sometimes leading you to where you desire to go and towards what you want to experience and, sometimes...most DEFINITELY NOT!"  This thought flashed into my mind today as I was remembering the film, The English Patient.  For those of you unfamiliar with the film, and from the few details I remember myself, the story line hinges, largely, on a pilot who has been found after his plane crashed in the Sahara (for a synopsis of this movie go to:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116209/plotsummary ) 

Most of the story is told in flashback sequences of this pilot before his fateful crash.  In fact, from what I recall the protagonist was actually a map maker and explorer.  During his charting and exploration of the Sahara, at the time of World War II, he is led into what seems to be a labyrinth of love, betrayal, politics and, ultimately death.  In essence, the film is about the choices, events and situations of his life and the experiences he has with the people in and surrounding his live and the events and situations which involve these people.  Are you still with me?

In other words, it beats me why this film suddenly popped into my mind today.  I am not currently a movie 'buff'.  However, I think it was one of those somewhat intuitive moments that I sometimes experience alerting me to remember certain essential truths about life, in general.  As much as we would all like to 'know'...we never KNOW.  Sure, we may all start off on a certain fixed path with a fairly certain fixed plan and with many people around us who have certain VERY FIXED views about us, views which some of these people try, even forcefully, to make each of us adhere to VERY stenuously and THEN, life takes a turn.  Fate throws a curve ball.  Something changes.  WE change.  And although some of us might not like to admit as much or accept these possibilities, often these very statements ring true!

For my part, once many of these 'truths' about life began to reveal themselves to me in my own life, I learned to let go, live and let live.  Sure, there are some situations in which I speak out in an attempt to correct what is causing me distress, but in doing so I am fully aware that I may or may not be heard or, further more, respected for my point of view.  I am still seeking people who think this way in my own life.  Maybe this blog will inspire them to come forward. LOL Some things can seemingly be 'under control' for a time...but, largely, this is just an illusion.  

But why despair?  Why treat this as a burden?  Why get annoyed?  Sad?  Angry?  Why lament in the ever pervasive, "Why me?"  Why try endlessly to get someone else to carry this 'load' of disappointment that YOU feel because YOUR vision, of life, of them, of how you thought you understood the situation, was not fulfilled when YOU wanted it to be...or not at all?  There are endless possibilities and each of us has the choice of which possibility or path to follow and, consequently, which detour, backtrack or even roadblock to respect on our journey.  And...such is life.

I must also give credit to the Amazing Race, this week, for opening my mind enough to be receptive to these refelctions.  LIFE, oh life, oh liiiiiiiife...

Nicole

    

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

Well Hello,

Hello to each and all and welcome to my blogspace. No, I am not being ironic. I sincerely welcome everyone who is interested in my thoughts and observations, although I reversed the order of these words in the title of my blog. I am a songwriter, by trade, and when I feel the need to express myself, I often turn to the written word to do so. I am also a professional performer in the entertainment industry and I have been for 18 years, which means that I get paid to entertain and this is how I actually make my living and have done for this extended amount of time--a true blessing.

Well, on one hand. On the other hand, I will admit, and many in the entertainment industry may agree, it is a very selfish profession. In the creative arts, in general, it is quite against the grain of 'normal' society to spend so much time making fanciful and completely impractical creations with so much of ones time. Many people in so-called 'normal' society call this occupation a hobby. I beg to differ, as my 'hobby' has helped me to make a living for almost half of my professional life.

So here I am at my computer, this morning, putting words to paper and my main objective is to share my thoughts and observations about online socializing. What? Well, I felt the need, for me at least. I have many, many online contacts--contacts whom I almost never meet or see. And among these contacts, I do actually do business with some of them. For example, I am currently creating my first self-produced musical artist album. For those familiar with the music industry, you may know that people can actually create and collaborate full projects without ever meeting their collaborative partners, face to face. OH THE JOYS OF FTP FILE TRANFER! :-))

So, here I am, again...socializing and networking online in order to create, promote and ultimately distibute my project/product commercially. Oh, there go my friends, some of them thinking that I am only in touch with some of them just to get them to buy something in the end. There go my colleagues wondering why I am so reserved (timid?) at work only to reveal myself to be so outspoken online. There go the naysayers thinking that I am trying to make my Facebook profile more like my MySpace profile, just because I have posted a link to this blog. When did everyone become so critical? Is this not a free world?

For many, no. Although they may not be living in war-torn countries like Afghanistan or constantly living under the threat of everyday terrorism in the form of suicide or roadside bombs confronting them as soon as they leave their home...well, I am not trying to go too far here in being political...many people just have their own special interpretation of the state of being free. They have to compare. They HAVE to know what someone else is doing. They HAVE to KNOW as much as they can know about a person before extending the most simple, "Hello. How are you?", as if doing this is, somehow, considered to be 'uncool'...really, WHAT HAPPENED? Yet, they feel so 'free' that they will disrespect the boundaries of another and EXPECT total acceptance of THEIR idea of freedom while at the same time lacking tolerance and being very reluctant to offer the same 'freedom' on another level to others.

And then, as has happened on two of my online web profile pages, when I respond to my impression of this sad state in the human social arena (well, I know the virtual world is meant to be a world apart, but I just cannot get away from the idea that I KNOW I am not strictly virtual, myself. I know that I am the one sitting behind a computer generating communication and sending it off into cyberspace, whether people 'know' me THAT WAY or not and that I have to only be accountable to me. In the same way that I write my song lyrics, I know that what I express comes from my own thoughts and observations although, sometimes, these expressions may or may not be associated or 'in sync', or even out of 'sync' with the thoughts and observations of others.) My point is, why do I have so many contacts sending messages, thought of as SPAM or phishing scams, sent to my inboxes, posted on my websites--on one group posted on Facebook, it was said that this happens when people think that you are unpopular. LOL All I can say is that there are two sides to every story. 

Often I am just inclined to believe that the people who do this instead of sending sincere and honest messages are just inept, insincere, attention seekers or simply do not have much to say and, rather than reel in their initial impulses, decide to send useless information to at least show that they have tried to communicate. What a shame that these very same people cannot just be honest with themselves and admit to their true motivations behind their actions.

That said, the proverbial double-edged sword is obvious. Those who do this often believe themselves to be beyond reproach and take offense when I tell them that I am NOT having it. And those whom I have not even 'targeted' get the wrong end of the stick and believe that I am criticizing them. Such is life when much of our time is spent apart and not together.

Well, this is all I had to share, today. I am generally a reserved person who spends much time alone working on my projects to bring them to fruition. I am seeking, mainly, to just have online communication to fulfill a transitory need for dialog, now and again, since my work takes up so much of my time. Some people, despite those who may feel 'lampooned' by my observations, DO have a lot of interesting things to share and talk about and do so, very interestingly, through the written word online. These people are not necessarily jounalists, professional authors or public speakers...just human beings who have something interesting and compelling to express. I hope that the majority of my online contacts fall into this category.

Peace (and, no, that sign off does not make me a 'flower child' ;-),
Nicole

For a sample of my work and archives, visit:

http://www.nicolegraham.com/